Before We Get All Weepy...
May 15th proved to be an unexpected Judgement Day for Jerry Falwell, the guy who (along with Pat Robertson) has had his flag firmly planted in America's moral high ground since the early 80's. You gotta give props to his motivation: he succeeded in getting droves of conservatives to register to vote, arguably delivering Reagan his second term. He was an old-fashioned bible-thumper who once offered wheelchair-bound publisher Larry Flint a trip out to the woodshed for a lil' ass-whoopin'. He shamelessly chartered new territory in xenophobia, misogyny, hatred, and sheer batshit-craziness, most notably blaming feminists for 9/11 and "outing" the Teletubbies. He always failed to see the humor in just about everything: politics, life, lifestyles, the country, and himself.
"I believe America is in imminent peril. We are rotting from within," he once said. Fair enough. On the morning of Tuesday May 15th, as Jerry lay dead and "un-raptured" on his office floor, it began rotting just a little less.
Memorable quotes:
On 9/11: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say: you helped this happen."
On his flock: "Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions."
On how to win a woman's heart: "I listen to feminists and all these radical gals... These women just need a man in the house. That's all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they're mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They're sexist. They hate men; that's their problem."
On rights: "I have a Divine Mandate to go into the halls of Congress and fight for laws that will save America."
On health: "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."
On Tinky-Winky's little secret: "He is purple -- the gay-pride color; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle -- the gay-pride symbol. "
On 9/11: "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say: you helped this happen."
On his flock: "Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions."
On how to win a woman's heart: "I listen to feminists and all these radical gals... These women just need a man in the house. That's all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they're mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They're sexist. They hate men; that's their problem."
On rights: "I have a Divine Mandate to go into the halls of Congress and fight for laws that will save America."
On health: "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."
On Tinky-Winky's little secret: "He is purple -- the gay-pride color; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle -- the gay-pride symbol. "
On the Answer to Everything: "When the nation is on its knees, the only normal and natural and spiritual thing to do is what we ought to be doing all the time -- calling upon God."
On bringing people together: "Muhammad was a terrorist."
And didja know...
He coined the nickname "Ellen Degenerate".
He opposed nuclear disarmamaent.
He proposed that creationism be taught in public school science classes, and later, that public schools be abolished altogether.
He quietly accepted $3.5 million from Korean cult messiah Sun Myung Moon to bail Liberty University out from massive debts. He then urged his friend Preseident Reagan to pardon Moon's tax evasion conviction.
When George W. Bush took office as President in 2001 and established a White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, Falwell said it was a great idea, so long as Muslim groups were disqualified from receiving any money.
He had preached that racial segregation was the Lord's will.
He had supported South African apartheid, and opposed Mandela's release from prison.
He once announced that the long-awaited "antichrist" would be Jewish.
He had supported South African apartheid, and opposed Mandela's release from prison.
He once announced that the long-awaited "antichrist" would be Jewish.
posted by Lazarus Walks at
7:18 PM
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